New Year

This being a new year, it is only fitting that I have new goals and a new outlook. Like a new year is the panacea to all of my troubles. I will try my damnedest this year to be healthier, because being fat sucks... a lot. I've also decided that since I am unemployed, I might as well pour all of my efforts into school. Last semester, I was only able to attain a 3.75 GPA. This is good, but I can do better.

All of this positive thinking is going to my head, ekk, who knows, it may actually lead to a better quality of life. I do love being apathetic, but it hasn't gotten me anywhere. I've spent so many years being so pissed off and saying I don't care about anything, but I've found that it just hurts me, rather than shield me from my real problems. Ah, my real problems. There is something new and exciting to talk about. Depression tops my list, as does using food to comfort myself. It's a vicious cycle, and it sucks.

I've always had this attitude that I am too good to do things, and this anything that's hard isn't worth doing. That attitude sucks. Now if only I can convince myself that I can stick with this and work toward a positive change in my life.

I think one of the greatest things that will help me this year is being able to post how I'm feeling, and what I'm doing about it. The ups and downs of daily life and how I cope. I also want to start writing down all the recipes that are helping me along the way. I figure since food is my comfort, I may as well make great food to keep me going. I do have my vices as everyone does, and I don't know that I will be able to give up bacon or pasta, but I will try my hardest to use them wisely, and in a way that will further my health.

Here's to a new year, and a more positive, healthy me.


On another note, I got rid of Facebook this morning. It was to the point where I had 400+ "friends" and perhaps 5 people that I talked to on a daily basis. Those other people just had access to my life in a way that I just wasn't comfortable with. Think about it, these people that you haven't talked to in years, suddenly reemerging in your life, able to see you happiest moments in pictures, and read you status updates, letting them know what's going on in your life in a moment by moment update. Who are these people though? I could tell you there names, maybe where they went to college, but I had no real connection to them. These people were just a name and a face on a screen, they have no impact on my life, so it just makes sense to me to eliminate them from my life. They serve no purpose but to make me feel that I have not accomplished enough in my life. Comparing myself to people who have traveled to Africa and feed orphans and taught impoverished children how to read... That's a hell of a life to measure up to, so I stopped.

Well, here's to Day 1. Now, off to the movies with the parents, then perhaps out to dinner.